Don’t Burn Any Bridges

Twas the night before Christmas and Grandad (my dad) had a bit too much vino.  Not way too much, but just enough that his words were getting a bit scrumbly jumbly.  Granny (my mom) was talking about something that made her angry at work.  Granny vowed that some day she was going to reach the end of her frayed and ragged rope and tell some people to shove it up the wazzoo and then give it a hard twist for good measure while flipping birds with both hands on the way out.  You get the picture; my mom was somewhat miffed.  Alarmed,  Grandad jumped into the tense quagmire and said, “No!  Don’t burn any bitches!”   He was completely unaware that he’d said the wrong word which made us all crack up even more.  Grandad of course meant to say “bridges” not “bitches.”